Yep. You found me.  I started this thing as part of a portfolio site - however, as you can see, no portfolio!  Wrangling together like 15 years of photography, art, and design is a bitch, if you don't want to wait, hit me up.  I usually don't write unless I have a lot to say - If you're looking for regular activity, you'll have better luck over at my Tumblr!

February 14, 2007

Yankee Confessional

So, I've been staring out the window at the snow and ice, watching my neighbors break there collective asses shoveling and salting, thinking to myself: thank god I'm not a homeowner. There are few upsides to being a perpetual tenant, and this is one of them. One day it'll be me out there, bitching, moaning, freezing my ass off, but not today, today - I'm not even thinkin politics or social injustice. I'm thinking baseball. anyone who tuned in for a fix of tirading diatribes - sorry to disappoint!

Yesterday was February 13, the day pitchers and catchers from many major league teams report to the grapefruit league (aka spring training) in Florida. I won't get into specifics about my aversion to Florida - but lets just say that spring training in March is about the only good thing to come out of that damn state. But right now, I'd love to be sitting in Tampa at Legends Field, spring training home of the New York Yankees.

Let the hating commenceth.

i know. i hear it all the time. I actually know more Mets fans than Yankees fans - despite the prevailing opinion that Yankee fans are the majority and the Mets fans are the little guy 'underdogs'. I've had people get surprised that someone as eclectic, socially conscious and humble as myself could possibly be a fan of the 'evil empire', a franchise who's front office exploits have garnered itself a reputation to be materialistic, greedy, and *gulp* corporate in its dealings. I'll just come right out and say it, not out of shame or apology: but as a pure and simple admission:

Most Yankee fans are obnoxious, front running, spoiled fan boy jerks who know nothing about the game. And yea, George Steinbrenner can be an evil, dictatorial prick.

Happy? I'm not. Having to defend my team or explain myself every time this comes up sucks pretty bad, but hey, what am i gonna do, they're my team, and they were my dads team, and his dads team. Lineage. Starting to get the picture?

Well if not, here's one that's worth a thousand words:



Yea. Thats me in the Bronx - Wedensday, August 24th 1988, 9 yrs old, leather at the ready, smilin them horseteeth for my dad. The Yanks were playin the A's in the 3rd game of a set, with the series tied at 1 a piece.

So what hasn't changed? - my love of yankees baseball, and apparently, my haircut. And what has changed? Well, how about the yankees?

In 1988, the bombers came in 5th place, finishing out 85-76 at a mediocre .528 percentage. They hadn't won a world series in 10 years, or an AL east pennant since 1981. Keep this in mind - if you were a "frontrunner" then - you were a Mets fan, they had just won the Serious in 1986 and finished 15 games out in front of Pittsburgh for 1st place in the NL East in 1988. My team, the Yankees - were nothing to shout about. But the players...

Don Mattingly, who will be Joe Torre's bench coach this year, was in pre-injury form, batting over .300 for the fifth consecutive season, and earned his fourth consecutive gold glove for flashing some serious leather at 1st base.

Rickey Henderson, playing left field, batted .305 and had 98 stolen bases on the year.

Dave Winfield, playing right, smacked the ball with a .322 avg, hit 25 homers and contributed 107 rbis before the year was over.

Other mentionables for '88 were Tommy John, Dave Righetti, Ron Guidry (now the pitching coach), and Al Leiter. And who else? Willie Randolph - current skipper of the crosstown Mets. Willie didn't do anything phenomenal that year, but my position was 2nd base in Little League, so i've always had this natural inclination to favor the guy there, in 88 it was Willie, and these days, its Robinson Cano.

The Yanks weren't much for championships during my youth, but i remember my dad watching the games or listening to them on the radio, i remember my grandfather cursing them out on Sunday afternoons when i visited them for lunch. I remember the overall feeling that this was my team, that i was supposed to root for the Yanks. I was too young to understand the bitter Red Sox rivalry, being hated by the Mets, i wasn't aware of George Steinbrenners less-than-savory backroom dealings or how the crooked bastard went out of his way to smear some of the best players on our team - like Dave Winfield or Reggie Jackson - over personal differences. Baseball was innocent, a game, before i knew stats or off-field antics - i knew Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, Joe Dimaggio, Yogi Berra and Mickey Mantle were the immortals, and my family had immortilized them for me, i was a Yankee fan, there was just no other team for me.

And how far have they come since 1988? 11 Division titles. 4 World Series titles in 6 trips. Why do they call it the world series if its always played in the Bronx?

You can rub it in my face if you want, i know better than any hater that the Yanks have had piss poor postseason records since 2000 - they choked, and then choked again. Their strongest assets went missing, their weaknesses exagerrated, and they never seem to find their moxie when October started, which has been the antithesis of the dynasty years - postseason magic, not postseason collapse. It hurts, like it would hurt any fan of any team - but i don't mind. I'm not one of 'those' fans.

This team has been the team to beat in their division for the last decade - and the AL East is arguably the toughest division in the majors. I'm supposed to be ashamed of this? Look, i'll leave the shame to Derek Jeter, i've got to admire him for saying anything less than a World Championship is a failure in NYC. Dissappointed? Hell yes. Ashamed? Only of the fans who call division pennants a waste.

How do i feel about the Mets? I like the Mets. I like David Wright, Delgado, Endy Chavez and of course, Wille Randolph. Nothing bothers me about the team. This has always been the conundrum between the Bronx and Queens - Mets fans seem to care a helluva lot more about the Yankees than the Yankee fans care about the Mets. And thats probably the reason Mets fans hate the Yankees so much: we can't even reciprocate a rivalry for them. Shit ... if it weren't for interleague play, I doubt i'd even care at all. So, friends of mine who're Mets fans - i come in peace, y'all don't bother me. Hate on if you want - i don't really care.

I can't say the same for the Red Sox. I have a few buddies who're Boston fans, and i can even talk baseball with them: mad respect for being able to meet each other in the middle - this isn't for you. Unfortunately, the majority of Sox fans i've found seem to be more motivated to see the Yankees lose than they are in even seeing their own team win. Hey, the majority of Yankee fans suck - and it would seem to me that the same is true with Redsox fans. If you really love the sport, rooting for one team just to hate on another is pathetic. Inferiority complex anyone? Get a clue, and kiss the rings bitches!

Why do i love the Yankees now, as an adult, why haven't i jumped ship? What makes me stick? You can laugh, but yea - its the aura and mystique, its the ghosts that haunt the hallowed ground in monument park in left-center field, its the black and white footage of Ruths called shot, Gehrigs goodbye speech, Larsens perfect game. Its late-game impossible comeback magic. Sure, the Sox did it in 2004, for the Yanks - it comes with the territory: every year it seems, regardless of the players, or the manager or the fans - it just seems to come with the pinstripes. Its why the aloof Yogi Berra once said: "It ain't over till its over."

Last season, on May 16, vs the Texas Rangers, i saw one of the best games i'll ever see. No written description will do it justice, but to nutshell the game, the Yanks impossibly came back from a 9-0 defecit after being brutalized early and went into the 9th inning with the game tied. The Yankees brought in the formidable Mariano Rivera to hold the game, and he blew it, giving up a run on a Rod Barajas double. They had come back twice already in the game, and now they were going to lose 13-12, a crushing defeat. I was laying on my floor, listening to John Sterling on the radio, nervously pounding a ball into my mitt. With 2 outs and a man on, Jorge Posada came up to the plate, with the crowd hushed on the precipice of defeat, he battled the count to 3 balls, 1 strike. Posada crushed his next pitch, a straight fastball, deep into the rightfield bleachers for a walk-off homer: the Yankees won, 14-13.

Back to August 24th 1988. Different team, no Jeter, no Mariano Rivera, no Giambi et al - 1988 was hardly an all-star lineup. The 5th place Yankees were playing the 1st place Oakland Athletics. The Yanks were playing horrible ball that month, running a 9-20 record. The A's took the game into the top of the ninth 4-2, and tagged on two more runs on a Jose Canseco dinger, pounding the last nail in the coffin for a sure bet 6-2 win for the game AND the series - because the A's dominant hall of fame closer, Dennis Eckersley was on the mound to get the final 3 outs.

The game was in the bag. Or it should have been. It started with a pair of basehits from Claudell Washington and Don Mattingly, followed with a homer from dh Ken Phelps to make it 6-5. A fielders choice double play tied the game as Don Slaught plated Dave Winfield. But with 2 outs in a tie game, Rickey Henderson came up to bat and served a single into left field, bringing utility infielder Luis Aguayo home and winning the game 7-6. The Yanks had put up a 5 spot in the bottom of the ninth against the games most dominant closer, and won the game. Friggen magic.

It ain't over till its over: This is Yankees baseball. This is why they're my team, wether its the pathetic dredges of 1988, the cinderella story champs of 1996, the loser 'chokees' of 2004 - or whatever comes between now and October - its gonna be a hell of a season!

Lets go Yan-kees!

February 11, 2007

Social Network True Ads

OK these True ads need to stop. Two of the types of ads that True seems to like to run on Myspace drive me crazy.

The one style is a photo of some over-sexed chick with fuck-me eyes going on, but with a multiple choice question about whats the best thing about naughty girls (uh, everything? spankings, etc). I thought that it was only fair for them to complement that with a list about what are the worst part about naughty girls, just to be safe. You know - having to kick your best friends ass because she slept with him, herpes, sloppy seconds, paternity suits, and overhearing second hand urban myths about the time she tried to felate an entire hotel floor full of jello-shot fueled frat boys in Daytona beach while singing the star spangled banner. Yeah - that's EXACTLY what I'm looking for in a girl - a hundred other guys.

What i don't get about this ad campaign is that i have yet to see an ad that promotes the best aspects of 'nice' girls. This infers its lame to be nice. Boring... be a bitch. Be loose. Be naughty. Just like guys, nice girls finish last.

The other set of ads is just too obvious, and i haven't seen many of them around lately. But for a while, the ads were just like an enormous set of tits, with the tag - "Find True Love". Unless this is some Freudian appeal to the males deep seeded evolutionary attraction to C-cups (guilty as charged), I once again see this mixed message that love and sex are one in the same, or maybe that screwing a hottie can replace those feelings of deep romance.

Whats wrong with me? Do I fuck through a hole in a sheet? Am I some puritanical hard-ass who can't appreciate a ''naughty' chick? On the contrary - 'naughty' (this word just keeps getting lamer every time i say it) might as well be a requirement - what fun is sex with inhibitions? But I personally like to earn that right through developing chemistry with someone, or being surprised by some unexpected sluttiness in the bedroom ... or in the kitchen ... or in the car, you get the idea. If shes broadcasting the naughty thing to everyone and anyone, shes just not attractive anymore, theres no challenge. And yes, theres a big difference in being sexy and being slutty. Respect and integrity comes to mind.

And hey look, i get the one-night-stand thing, its liberating to let loose and throw caution to the wind and indulge in someone that's gotten your blood boiling. I guess it just bothers me when i see a huge swath of our society engage in it almost exclusively. The fear of commitment and loss of identity is so great that no one really wants to be obligated anymore and relationships are just perceived as a ball and chain. We're so obsessed with ourselves, that theres no room for anyone else: you're taking away from my career, you're taking away from my studies, you're taking away from my ability to fuck whoever i want whenever i want. Theres no incentives placed on the comfort that comes with the trust, loyalty or understanding that comes with commitment. its 2007, and its all about me.

Years and years of media slamming us in the face has left us all with this false impression that the only thing that matters is physical attraction - and dont get me wrong, its damn important. But its not the only thing that's important, and i think way too many people look only skin deep - not only at other people, but especially at themselves.

I hate to generalize, but the more 'sexy' a person, the more they tend to just be sexy and nothing else. That's what happens here, you're so overly rewarded for being attractive, you start to feel superior, you get used to the attention, you don't feel the need to develop your personality into something tangible: I'm sexy, men pay attention to me, and if i smile the right way, i can get anything i want. Rinse, repeat.

In the words of Dave Chappelle, "Chivalry is dead - and women killed it". Way too many women giving it away under some false pretense that they are simply exuding the same chauvinist attitude that men have had over the last ... um ... OK, like forever. The false pretense is that male chauvinism is OK, encouraged even. You guys had your fun, and now its our turn to brag about being mean, superficial and heartless. Yeah, that's awesome.

So yea, chauvinism on any level from any gender is fucking lame. Casual relationships, one-night-stands, swingers, hey it's all good and you've got the freedom to do it all - i just worry that theres alot of people out there who are confused and don't bother to think, they see these ads for True, they see a Girls Gone Wild commercial, they jump into the thong contest at the club, and they think this is the only way to act, the only way to live - this is what a woman is supposed to be. This is what men find attractive.

I wonder alot about this confusion, 'cause there seems to be a never ending parade of girls who say they want to be the bad-girl, or that they want the bad-boy, diving headlong into something and then come out the other side feeling hurt, used, and angry. Despite feeling this way, they go ahead and make the same mistake, again and again and again. They feel like they're hardcore and strong and know what they re getting into, and then they're shocked when they feel hurt afterwards. The real trouble is that repeating the mistake tends to only distance the person from real emotional relationships and that becomes the only way they know how to show or receive affection: cheap sex with people for all the wrong reasons.

Being the 'nice' guy for most of my life, I've heard it all about the bad-boy drama from alot of platonic girl friends. He was so hot, his car was so nice, his band rocked, he had alot of money, he looks just like *celebrity of choice*. This is what gets you in the door, and it takes alot less to get from the door to the bedroom, shouldn't it be the opposite, whats up with that?

I just wish thered be some counterpoint to the mass media, some motivation or a voice telling everyone to meet everyone halfway here: lets all stop acting like pigs and let ourselves even entertain the idea of falling in love again - giving people chances, with no strings attached.

And no, that doesn't mean you need to take the handcuffs off the headboard...

Essential reading:

Female Chauvinist Pigs

Generation S.L.U.T.